Revenge
by leggylover03
Summary: Elrond finds himself on the receiving end of someone's wrath.


Title: Revenge

Summary: Elrond finds himself on the receiving end of someone's wrath.

Disclaimer: I do not own him, lest he be covered in drool

A/N: This is unbetaed so excuse the mistakes, and it is AU of course, and a one shot

The yelling coming from the Last Homely House was the first thing Legolas heard upon his entrance. No on had met him in the courtyard, no one had even come to greet him at the door, and this was not a normal thing.

When the first scream had been uttered he recognized the voice as Elrohir and immediately drew his bow, and made his way down the hall. Everything was quiet except for the screams coming from upstairs, and as Legolas passed the cook he could see the man quivering.

"I have never seen anything like it before in all my years, it was horrible," was all Legolas could get out of the man before he turned on his heels and took off in the opposite direction.

This worried Legolas and without any further apprehension, he took off in the direction of the screaming. As he flung open the door his mouth fell open, and all he could do was stare, for there with frilly pink curls, and a dress that should have been buried with whatever village clown, now adorned the wizard Gandalf.

Legolas also noted that Elladan and Elrohir were being held against the wall, staff pointed at them by the obviously very upset Ishtari.

"I know you did this! Estel is still off tending to the horses in the neighboring town, and won't be back for another hour. Admit it and I will make your passing swift!"

"Honest Gandalf we had nothing to do with it," Elrohir said, panic actually crossing his face.

Legolas was about to intervene when Lord Elrond and Estel walked through the door. Estel immediately snorted and fell to the floor in a fit of giggles, and not even the wrath of Gandalf could cease them.

"It seems you have been on the receiving end of a very bad prank my old friend."

A prank! This is more than a prank and whomever did it shall pay Elrond, even if I have to leave you without a son. How can I face anyone looking like this?"

Elrond seemed quite calm as he answered, "Perhaps you should wave your staff around, and produce the magical words to help yourself. As I recall you doing so at the last council meeting."

Gandalf was about to protest that it would take all night to recover from that amount of magic, but then it dawned on him. He had been so bored at the last meeting, he had used his staff to place Elrond's hair in pigtails while he rambled on and on during his speech. The elf lord had been none the wiser until the men from Laketown had burst into fits of laughter. Elrond had sworn revenge on him that day, and it seemed to Gandalf now that he had taken it. Letting Elladan and Elrohir from his grasp, he nodded his head towards Elrond, and the still chuckling Estel, and left out of the room.

Legolas and the others were out in the gardens when they heard the whistling coming from the bushes. Knowing no bird sounded like that each of the four of them went to see what or whom it was. Four like yelps were heard as one by one all four were snatched through the shrubbery.

"I thought you trained warriors, and here you are being led into a trap like children, by an old man."

Elladan stood back up, and grabbed Elrohir, while Legolas helped Estel up. "We already told you Gandalf. We had nothing to do with today, honest. If you will let us we will be on our way now."

All four of them backed away from the Ishtari who stared at them, his eyes gleaming like a bonfire on a winter's eve. Casually the wizard spoke to them as they backed away.

"That is all well and good young Elrondion. I simply thought you would like to help me pull a prank on your father."

The reaction was instantaneous. All four of them turned sharply back around and the questions, were being fired off quickly.

Can you be sure we will not be caught? Will this be as funny as this morning?" and so forth until Gandalf held up his hand to stave off any further questions, or comments they had.

"I am certain it will work, but I shall need your assistance. Elladan as you know the herbs in your father's supply the best I would have you procure me some of these", he said, writing down the name of the herbs, before sending Elladan off to get them.

Elrohir I would have you bring me the freshest melon from the kitchen." and soon Elrohir was off to complete the task. At last Gandalf turned to Estel.

"Estel, your job is very important. I need you to keep your father in his study for an hour or so until dinner. Do you think you can do this?"

Just the thought of seeing someone pull something on his Ada had Estel agreeing, and he took off toward his father's study, while Gandalf pulled Legolas to him and whispered something in his ear.

Estel opened the door and found his Ada in his normal position, hunched over a stack of papers, reading and signing them.

"Ada, Can I help you with anything?" he asked not really knowing what to say to keep his father there in the room.

"These are important papers, I must read and then sign, so I can sit down and enjoy dinner without the thought of them waiting for me."

Estel was starting to fidget, but he sat down quickly before he could start pacing, and picked up one of the many books his father kept in his study. It was actually a book of elvish translations, of which Estel became easily bored with. When he saw Elrond stretching and standing up he panicked.

"Ada, how about a nice cup of tea?"

"That sounds wonderful. I will go down and prepare some for us."

Estel knew it had not been an hour yet, and he jumped up quickly. "I will go down and have the cook bring some up. We can't interrupt you and those important papers."

Elrond quirked an eyebrow at Estel, and wondered why he was fidgeting. He had not seen Legolas or the twins all afternoon, and usually Estel and Legolas were inseparable when together.

"I think I am capable of getting my own tea Estel, but you are more than welcome to join me in a cup."

"No," Estel said, lunging to beat his father to the door. "Really Ada, tea is not important now. You can just finish your papers, and I promise to be very quiet."

Elrond stalked to the door, and swung it open.

"Estel you are too old for this. Sixteen is time for you to be acting like a young man not some child. Stop fidgeting and tell me what it is you truly came in here to talk to me about," Elrond said, his patience with the game over.

Estel had no idea what to tell his father and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Ada, could you tell me about how babies are made, and what makes girls different from boys? There is a she elf who I wish to kiss, but I think Elladan told me wrong as he described all of it."

Estel leaned down and whispered into Elrond's ear truly what Elladan did reveal to him, and he saw the elf lord's face become a deathly shade of white, and then red.

"Estel, I...he told you that?" Elrond was becoming flustered as he was not expecting that of all things.

"Have a seat and I will try to answer any questions you have," Elrond said, trying to regain some form of dignity.

"Could you tell me where babies come from, and how and where do they come out of the naneths at?"

The calm look Elrond was holding faded, and his mouth fell open.

"I believe a picture could speak volumes on this Estel," he said, pulling one of the many books from the dusty shelf, and thrusting in at Estel.

The next hour was spent with Elrond stuttering and trying to keep his sanity as Estel threw question after question at him. At one point he had almost fainted when Estel had asked for a diagram of where the babies came into this world from; however when he saw his father's face pale to deathly proportions he had told him, that he could simply go and get a she elf, and have his father show him. Elrond had at that moment started beating his head on the desk, and asked if they could continue this conversation after dinner.

"So are you ready for that cup of tea now Ada?" Estel asked, seeing his father still shaking his head over the last request.

"I could use a stiff drink, but I suppose tea would be all right."

When Estel and Elrond walked into the dining hall Estel caught the nod from Gandalf whose hair was now back to its normal shade of grey, and both sat down as the cooks brought out the food.

"Ada, where have you been for the last two hours?" Elladan asked, trying to look worried.

"You and I will be having a talk about what should and should not be told to your brother Elladan," Elrond glared, before reaching for the honeydew melon.

Elladan had almost choked on the bite of stew he had been eating, but the entrance of Legolas and Glorfindel had saved him.

"I am sorry we are late, Erestor will be joining us momentarily. Young Legolas here was showing me a new way to fletch arrows, and I could not pass it up."

The meal was going along without a hitch. Elrond had asked if anyone else wanted any of the delicious melon, but everyone had refused, telling him they knew it was his favorite. Everyone wished to retire to the Hall of Fire for a few songs, but when Elrond stood he was wobbling on his usual steady feet.

"Are you well Ada?" Elrohir asked.

Elrond turned to him and smiled. "I am actually feeling quite well Elrohir," he said the goofy looking grin showing on his face.

Estel waited until his father was well on the way down the hall to snicker, and Legolas had to hold his own chuckle in when Elrond began to skip the rest of the way down the hall.

Once everyone was seated in the Hall of Fire the music started, and Elrond began to pour himself a glass of wine. Gandalf started to stop the elf lord, knowing it would not mix well, with the earlier substance, but decided he was going to let the scenario play out.

Everyone was having a grand time, the twins had sung a duet, and Estel had been asked to dance by one of the she elves. Even Legolas who was shy, had offered to dance with someone. Everything seemed quite normal till Elrond stood atop the chaise and started to sing.

The song started out nice, but when Elrond began to speak of she elves and how one should acquire lovings from her, Glorfindel snatched him down from the chaise.

"Milord, I think you have had too much wine," Glorfindel whispered into his ear.

"Unhand me! I must teach my son the facts of life, and how things are done!"

Elrond grabbed the elf maiden that had been dancing with Legolas and pulled her to him. When she looked appalled at the action Elrond planted a kiss on her lips, and then let her fall to the floor.

Everyone was scrambling to get to Elrond first, but all failed as he grabbed a piece of charcoal by the fire and started drawing elaborate pictures of what he titled, elf lovings.

Estel had wanted to stop him, but at the moment he was staring, neck craned upside down to study the picture now on the wall. He only stopped when he heard the screams and shrieks coming from down the hall.

When he ran to see Legolas grabbed him by the arm.

"Your father has gone out into the gardens, hurry!"

Everyone tried to get to Elrond first, but he ran from them, and back into the Last Homely House. Down the hall he ran laughing as pieces of clothing were left in his wake. By the time he got to the door he wore nothing more than his circlet, and a smile, then he rushed in and locked the door.

"Ada No!" the twins shouted, for he had not gone into his own room, but that of Tiruil, the housemaid.

The scream was instant, and loud, but as each of them tried to open the door they found it was locked.

"What should we do?" Estel asked.

Glorfindel led them all out of the house, and found Tiruil climbing out of her window. They all five walked over to the window and helped the maiden down, and she relayed what had happened.

"He just walked right in. I tried to tell him it was the wrong room, but he started doing some wicked dance, and he called me a wench. I started to crawl out of the window when he grabbed one of my dresses and the broom sitting in the corner."

There were five mouths hanging open in awe. All of them wished to save their father from any further embarrassment, all of them but Gandalf, who while everyone else went outside had let the elf lord out of the room, and watched him take off down the hall.

Everyone had gotten into bed just before the sun arose, and were sleeping peacefully, when the screams from their father resounded throughout the house.

Soon four doors opened and everyone took off running to see what Lord Elrond was screaming about so early. They had left him locked in the she elf's room they thought but when the passed by it, they found the door opened, and the room empty. The next roar came from their father and they knew he was in the kitchen.

"Mithrandir! You shall die the most horrible death known to man or beast!"

Many pairs of feet skidded to a halt just inside the doorway, and what they saw had all gaping in horror.

The Lord of Imladris was standing on top of the counter in a dress, the cook's hat on his head, and his hand stuck inside a chicken. He jumped for the Ishtari and Gandalf handed Legolas his staff as he took off running.

The revenge had been plotted and carried out, and now the children of the Last Homely House went to watch their father beat Gandalf over the head with the chicken. It would be a memory to last a lifetime. 


End file.
